I was jealous, then I realized I was grieving

Dear Delyara, I felt jealous of someone today. Their life looked easier. More settled. More visible. More admired. More certain. At first I judged myself for feeling that way. Then I sat with it longer and realized it wasn’t really jealousy underneath. It was grief. Grief for what I thought my life would look like by now. Grief for the parts of myself I still feel I’m waiting to become. Grief for time, maybe. Sometimes jealousy is just sorrow wearing sharper clothes.