I went back to the place where it happened and I stayed

Dear Delyara, I had avoided that street for two years. I took longer routes, gave excuses, pretended it was just preference. But really, I knew what lived in my body when I got too close to that place. Last Saturday, for reasons I couldn’t avoid, I had to go there again. I was shaking before I even got out of the car. But I stayed. I walked slowly. I breathed. I reminded myself where I was and what year it was and who I am now. The body still remembered, but it did not take over in the way it used to. I came home exhausted. But I also came home with evidence that fear no longer owns the whole map.