I wore clothes that showed my stoma instead of arranging my whole body around hiding it

Dear Delyara, After bowel surgery, I received a permanent stoma. I was grateful to be alive and furious about the bag at the same time. For two years, I wore oversized clothes and avoided anything fitted because I could see the outline even when nobody else probably could. A stoma nurse introduced me to a support group where people spoke honestly about leaks, intimacy, clothing and body image without forcing positivity. Slowly, I experimented with clothes I actually liked again. Last weekend, I wore a fitted dress to my sister’s birthday. The bag was visible if someone knew where to look. I knew. I still went. Halfway through the evening, I realized I had spent an hour dancing without checking my reflection. Self-love has not made me adore the stoma. Some mornings I still hate it. What changed is the amount of my life I am willing to arrange around pretending part of my body is not there.