Keeping it has shaped my personality

Dear Delyara, I don’t think I realized how much a secret can shape a person until I noticed how many parts of me have been built around not saying one thing. The carefulness. The deflection. The rehearsed versions of stories. The avoidance. The need to stay composed in certain conversations. The constant awareness of where I must not let my mind go if I want my face to stay normal. At some point the secret stopped being a fact and became an atmosphere.