Money still gets into my dignity too fast

Dear Delyara, That’s the hardest part to admit. Not only that I worry. That money can still make me feel smaller in myself so quickly. One cost, one bill, one badly timed payment, and my whole inner posture changes. I become tighter, more cautious, more likely to deny myself first, less playful, less emotionally spacious. I know money is practical. My body still experiences it as personal. And that makes everything harder, because it means I’m never only solving a financial issue. I’m also dealing with the shame, the fear, the shrinking, the old feeling that safety is much more fragile than I want it to be. I hate how much power numbers can still have over the tone of my whole day.