My anger becomes very organized

Dear Delyara, That is how I know I’m really angry. I become more efficient. More exact. Less warm. I answer with fewer words and cleaner edges. Everything in me gets tidier, not messier. From the outside it probably reads as control. From the inside it feels like anger trying to stay socially acceptable enough not to cost me too much. I don’t think I ever learned that anger could be expressed honestly without becoming dangerous. So now it hides in orderliness. That makes it harder for other people to see. And sometimes harder for me to respect properly.