My best friend invited everyone except me

Dear Delyara, I learned about the engagement party from photographs. My best friend of eighteen years was standing under white lights with every woman from our old group around her, including people she once said she barely knew. I was not invited. When I called, she said she assumed I would not want to come because I had been “distant lately.” I have been distant because my marriage is falling apart and I did not know how to talk about it without crying. She never asked. I told her I would have come. She said the guest list had been small, then changed the subject. I watched the videos afterward, studying every chair as if one might reveal the place where I had been considered and removed. Her fiancé proposed last month, and I was the first person she called. I stayed on the phone for two hours while she cried with happiness. Now I am wondering whether I am valuable only when she needs a witness. I have not confronted her again. The friendship is too old to lose easily and suddenly feels too hollow to trust. I keep writing a congratulatory card and crossing out every sentence because affection and humiliation are sharing the same pen.