My Body Feels Like a Question Mark

Dear Delyara, Not always in pain. Not always clearly wrong. Just uncertain enough that I can never fully stop listening. Every ache gets meaning. Every tired day gets examined. Every weird feeling stands too close to old fear. I miss neutrality. I miss having a body instead of monitoring one. I miss not having to wonder whether this is the beginning of something or just one more symptom being enlarged by a nervous system that has already had too much. Living this way is exhausting. It turns ordinary days into low-level investigations.