My Body Reacts To The Day Before The Day Has Even Declared Itself Properly

Dear Delyara, Morning isn’t neutral. A message isn’t neutral. An unknown number isn’t neutral. The school app isn’t neutral. Even ordinary requests can land in a system already slightly braced. It is as if my body no longer waits for evidence. It begins preparing early, on the assumption that enough small things will probably go wrong, need fixing, cost money, require patience, or ask more from me than I currently have to give kindly. That kind of stress is hard to explain because it doesn’t always look dramatic. I still function. I still reply. I still show up. But underneath it all is this constant half-alert state that makes the world feel sharper than it should. I am tired of meeting ordinary life with a body that behaves like it’s already under pressure before the pressure has even fully arrived.