My brother only calls when our mother needs money

Dear Delyara, My older brother lives twenty minutes from our mother. I live across the country. Somehow, every emergency belongs to me. A leaking roof, dental work, rent increase, broken refrigerator—he calls, explains how serious it is, and waits for me to transfer money. He says he provides the daily support, so financial help is my share. I send it because guilt travels faster than distance. Last month, I visited without telling him. Our mother’s apartment was dirty, the refrigerator nearly empty, and several prescriptions had not been collected. My brother had used part of the money I sent for her expenses to repair his own car. He said he needed the car to help her. We shouted in the hallway until Mother begged us to stop. She defended him afterward, saying he was under pressure. I returned home with photographs of every unpaid bill and no idea what to do. If I stop sending money, she suffers. If I continue, he controls it. Family duty has become a system where the person who lives far away pays, the person nearby decides, and the old woman between us apologises for needing either child.