My brother’s shoes are two sizes too big, but I wore them anyway

Dear Delyara, I am thirteen. My brother Malik died last year. He was seventeen. Today was my first day at a new school, and I wore his sneakers. They are size eleven. I am size nine. Mum told me not to because I would trip. I stuffed socks into the toes. Malik wore them everywhere. He was wearing them in the last photo we have of him, leaning against our aunt’s car looking annoyed because Mum made him pose. At school, one boy said my shoes looked huge. I told him that is the style. During gym, one slipped off while I was running. Everyone laughed. I laughed too. In the changing room, I put them back on and tied them so tight my feet hurt. I know wearing his shoes does not make me like him. I do not even want to be exactly like him. He got into trouble, fought with Mum, borrowed my headphones and never returned them. But he knew how to walk into a room without looking scared. I needed some of that today. When I got home, Mum saw the blister on my heel and said nothing. She put a bandage on it, then cleaned Malik’s shoes with a damp cloth while they were still on my feet.