Germany

My children think I am about to become a successful artist

Dear Delyara, I left my office job to paint full-time after years of doing it at night. My wife supported the decision because we had savings for one year. Our children tell everyone their father is an artist now. They say it with such pride. Seven months have passed. I have sold four paintings. The money would not cover one month’s rent. The savings are shrinking exactly as the spreadsheet predicted, which somehow does not make watching it easier. My youngest drew a picture at school titled Dad at his successful art show. There are crowds around me and red SOLD stickers on everything. I stuck it in the studio because that is what fathers do. Sometimes I turn it face down while working. I know creative careers take time. I also know children need food and my wife cannot carry every expense forever. I am beginning to look at job adverts secretly. The fear is no longer simply that the art fails. It is that returning to an office will feel like telling my children they were wrong to believe in the version of me I finally tried to become.