My daughter asked if I liked being a grown-up, and I did not answer quickly enough

Dear Delyara, We were in the car. It came out of nowhere, as children’s best questions do. I should have laughed and said yes, of course, and maybe then added something playful. Instead I hesitated for just a second too long because the honest answer was more complicated than a child should have to carry. I do like parts of being grown-up. I also find it relentlessly administrative, emotionally crowded, and oddly lonely more often than I expected when I was small. In the end I said, “Sometimes yes, sometimes it’s a lot.” She accepted that and moved on. I didn’t. The question stayed with me all evening while I packed lunches and checked tomorrow’s weather. Do I like being a grown-up? Some days I like being needed. Some days I miss being held.