My daughter deleted my late wife’s contact from her phone

Dear Delyara, My wife died four years ago. Our daughter was fifteen. Tonight, she was clearing old contacts from her phone and casually said, “I finally deleted Mum’s number.” I reacted badly. I asked why. She looked startled and said because the number belongs to someone else now and she accidentally nearly texted it last month. I know this is reasonable. I know phone numbers are not graves. Still, hearing “delete Mum” felt like a small administrative death I was not prepared for. My daughter became angry and said, “Dad, I didn’t delete her.” Then she started crying. I apologized. She showed me her phone. Mum’s photographs are everywhere. Voice notes saved. Messages backed up. Her contact was simply gone. I realized I had made my daughter defend the quantity of grief she carries because she removed one obsolete route to a dead person. We sat on the kitchen floor afterward. She said she sometimes worries I need her to grieve in ways that reassure me. That sentence hurt because it is true. I told her she can delete anything she needs to. Tonight, I am staring at my own phone. My wife’s number is still there. I am not ready. My daughter is. Neither of us loves her less.