My daughter is performing the ballet role I never reached

Dear Delyara, At nineteen, I was training professionally when an ankle injury ended my career. I became a dance teacher. My daughter grew up in the studio and is more talented than I ever was. Next month, she will perform the lead role I spent my adolescence dreaming of dancing. I am proud enough that it hurts. I am jealous enough that I hate myself. During rehearsal today, she asked me how to approach a variation I knew intimately from watching but never performed on stage. I corrected her arm, her timing, the placement of her foot. She did it beautifully. Everyone clapped. I went into the costume room and cried between racks of tutus. My daughter has earned this. She has worked harder than I did and carries pressures I never faced. None of that stops my nineteen-year-old self from appearing whenever she takes the position I once imagined for my own body. I do not want her to dim so I feel less unfinished. I want to watch her shine without discovering how much darkness is still mine.