My ex-husband is dying, and his new wife asked me to come

Dear Delyara, My ex-husband has terminal cancer. We divorced twelve years ago after twenty-seven years of marriage. He remarried. I did not. Yesterday, his wife called and said he has been asking for me. She sounded kind. That makes everything harder. I have no desire to disrupt their marriage or behave as though history gives me rights over his final days. Yet this man knows the first half of my adult life better than anyone alive. We buried parents together. Raised children. Hurt each other terribly. Loved each other once. His wife said, “There are things only you two remember.” She is right. I have agreed to visit tomorrow. Our children are relieved. I am terrified. What do former spouses say at deathbeds? Sorry? Thank you? Remember that terrible caravan holiday? I thought divorce had defined the final distance between us. Death is asking whether I want to cross it once more.