My family thinks I am still attending university

Dear Delyara, I failed out of university last semester. My parents do not know. Every morning, I leave home carrying my backpack and spend the day in the public library, food court, or train station until classes would normally finish. My mother packs lunch and asks about lectures. I invent professors, assignments, and group projects. My father tells relatives I will be the first engineer in our family. The tuition money for this term is still in my account. I have used some of it to pay for cheap rooms on days when I cannot bear sitting in public pretending to study. I failed because I stopped attending after panic attacks made the lecture hall impossible. I did not ask for help because I thought needing help meant I did not belong there. Now the lie has become larger than the failure. Next month, my parents expect to attend a university event that does not exist. I keep thinking about running away before then. I do not want to die. I want to disappear long enough for the truth to become someone else’s problem.