My father asks for money and then tells relatives I do nothing for him

Dear Delyara, I send my father money every month. Rent, medication, food, sometimes extra for relatives he supports. Last weekend, my aunt called and asked why I had “forgotten” my father now that I live abroad. Apparently, Dad tells people I rarely help. I confronted him. He became angry and said money is not the same as presence. He is right. I have missed birthdays, hospital appointments, funerals. I send transfers instead of showing up. But he is the one who encouraged me to leave for better work. He tells me to stay abroad whenever I consider returning because the salary supports everyone. Then he tells relatives his child abandoned him. I do not know which accusation I am supposed to answer. Today, I sent the usual payment. In the reference box, I almost wrote “from the child who does nothing.” I deleted it. I love him too much to be cruel and resent him too much to feel generous.