My father wants forgiveness before he dies

Dear Delyara, My father is dying and has begun asking me to forgive him. He abused my mother throughout my childhood and hit me whenever I tried to intervene. We had no contact for nineteen years. Now my aunt phones every day saying he is frightened, that illness has changed him, that refusing to visit will leave me with regret. I went once. He looked small in the hospital bed and cried before I sat down. He said he had been a bad father but wanted peace. I asked whether he remembered breaking my mother’s jaw. He closed his eyes and said he did not want to go through every detail. That sentence told me he still wanted forgiveness without having to stand inside what he had done. My relatives say mercy would free me. They speak as though my pain is the lock on his final door. I do not know whether I want him to die forgiven, unforgiven, or simply truthful. What I know is that everyone is watching me now, and once again his suffering has become the most important thing in the room.