My friend chose my ex-husband as godfather to her baby

Dear Delyara, My closest friend had a baby last month. Yesterday, she told me she and her husband chose my ex-husband as godfather. She said she hoped I would understand because he remained close to both of them after our divorce. I said of course. Then I went home and cried in the shower. My ex and I were married twelve years. The divorce was painful but not vicious. I never asked friends to choose sides. Perhaps that was my mistake. Everyone interpreted maturity as permission to preserve relationships exactly as they preferred. Now he will stand beside my friend’s child at christenings, birthdays, school events, all the family moments I assumed would remain part of my life after the marriage ended. My friend says she loves us both and refuses to treat divorce as death. I agree with the principle. I am still hurt by the practice. There are losses nobody lists in divorce papers: not only spouse, house, routine, future—but the possibility that your best friend’s baby may grow up calling the person who broke your heart Uncle before learning anything important about you.