My friend has begun telling my miscarriage story as though it happened to her

Dear Delyara, I lost a pregnancy at sixteen weeks. My closest friend was the only person outside the family who saw me in hospital. She helped wash my hair, brought clothes, and listened when I said things nobody else could bear. A year later, she began speaking publicly about “our experience with pregnancy loss.” At first, I assumed she meant supporting me. Then she joined a panel, wrote an article, and described moments from the hospital without saying they belonged to my body. People now contact her for advice. She tells me she is raising awareness and that my story has helped others. She never asked permission. When I confronted her, she cried and said the loss changed her too. I do not deny that. I also cannot tolerate hearing the most private night of my life shaped into a lesson by someone who left the hospital and returned to her intact body. She has removed identifying details, so nobody knows it is me. That anonymity does not feel protective. It feels like disappearance. My child existed inside me. The grief has become part of her public voice, while I sit silently in audiences listening to strangers thank her for surviving what happened to me.