Edinburgh, Scotland

My friend keeps asking for support I no longer have enough strength to give

Dear Delyara, My best friend is going through a terrible divorce. I have been the person she calls at midnight, after solicitor letters, after arguments, whenever she sees her ex with someone new. I love her. I am also exhausted. My mother is ill, my own work is difficult, and every conversation with my friend becomes two hours about her marriage. Last night, she called while I was sitting beside Mum in hospital. I did not answer. She texted, “I really need you.” I stared at those words feeling angry that my life had not occurred to her. Then guilty because perhaps she genuinely had nobody else. This morning, she said I have become distant exactly when she needs me most. She is not entirely wrong. I have become distant because closeness currently feels like another task. I do not want to abandon someone I have loved for twenty years. I also do not know how to tell her I cannot keep being the emergency service for pain that renews itself every evening.