My hands shake too much to feed myself neatly

Dear Delyara, I have Parkinson’s disease. My tremor has worsened. I can still feed myself, technically. The problem is the mess. Soup spills. Peas escape. Coffee shakes over the rim. At home, I manage. In public, I have stopped ordering certain foods because I cannot tolerate people watching. Last Sunday, my family went to lunch for my granddaughter’s birthday. I ordered a sandwich because it felt safe. Halfway through, my hand shook so badly the filling fell onto my shirt. My granddaughter, who is six, took a napkin and wiped it without hesitation. She said, “Grandad, your hand is doing the wobbles again.” Everyone laughed. I laughed too. Then I went to the bathroom and cried. I do not want to become a man whose family learns tenderness because his body is failing in front of them. I want to be the grandfather who cuts food for children, not the one children instinctively help. My daughter says accepting help does not make me less myself. Easy for her to say with hands that still obey breakfast.