My husband is in the house, but I still feel alone

Dear Delyara, I don’t know how to explain this without sounding ungrateful. My husband works hard. He comes home. He sits in the same room. He asks practical questions. He is not a monster. He is not missing. If someone looked at our life from the outside, they would probably say I am not alone. But I feel alone. We talk about shopping, bills, the children, appointments, the broken tap, his mother, my sister, what time we need to leave tomorrow, what’s for dinner, whether the dog has been fed. We live side by side very efficiently. But I cannot remember the last time I felt emotionally held by him. That is the part I am ashamed to say. Some nights he is sitting only a few feet away from me, and I feel lonelier than I did when I was single. At least when I was alone, the loneliness made sense. This version is worse because it happens in company. It happens while I am still cooking, still answering, still sharing the same sofa, and I can feel myself disappearing quietly in the middle of a marriage that still looks normal enough to other people. I don’t know what to do with that kind of loneliness. It has no dramatic event. It just keeps happening.