My imagination starts working long before reality does

Dear Delyara, That is the exhausting thing. Nothing may actually be happening yet, and already my imagination is active — building futures, rehearsing pain, pre-processing disappointment, practicing explanations, trying to emotionally occupy the unknown before it arrives. By the time the actual answer comes, I have often already lived through several versions of it. Uncertainty in me is not empty space. It is crowded space. I’m tired of how much labor the future demands before it even becomes real.