My mind keeps calling vigilance maturity

Dear Delyara, That may be one of anxiety’s cleverest disguises in me. It sounds responsible. Prepared. Smart. Emotionally adult. What it really is, much of the time, is fear rehearsing itself in polished language. I call it thinking ahead. I call it being careful. I call it not wanting surprises. But underneath, it’s often just my nervous system trying to earn safety by never fully relaxing. And it never works. It only makes me tired earlier. I’m tired of mistaking tension for wisdom. But some days the difference still blurs.