My Mind Rehearses Pain

Dear Delyara, It runs future conversations before they happen. Builds worst-case scenarios out of delayed replies. Turns a symptom into a whole possible life change before I’ve even made the appointment. Takes one uncertain thing and multiplies it into five private catastrophes before the facts have even entered the room. I am so tired of suffering in advance. So tired of my body paying for pain that often never arrives in the form it predicted. And yet the predictions keep coming. That is what makes it exhausting. The repetition of it.