My mind still confuses vigilance with care

Dear Delyara, It makes scanning feel responsible. Rehearsing feel mature. Worry feel like preparation. Exhaustion feel like a fair price for not being careless. But vigilance is not the same thing as care. Sometimes it is simply fear given good language. I know that more clearly now. Still, the body does not always believe what the mind has already learned. So I keep catching myself acting as if relentless anticipation were a form of love toward the future. It isn’t. It just steals the present.