My mind still treats uncertainty like an urgent assignment due tomorrow morning

Dear Delyara, It does not know how to let an unanswered thing stay unanswered. A medical result pending. A difficult conversation not yet had. A work decision still floating. A financial question with too many moving parts. My mind cannot seem to leave these things in a neutral place. It picks them up and starts turning them, as if enough private labour might somehow reduce the reality of not knowing. It never does. But by the time the real answer comes, I am already tired from all the pre-work I have done on imaginary outcomes. That is what uncertainty costs me. Not only the waiting. The wasted rehearsal.