My mother becomes ill whenever I try to leave

Dear Delyara, I have postponed moving out four times. Each time I sign a lease or mention independence, my mother develops chest pain, dizziness, or an emergency that requires me to stay. The doctors rarely find anything serious, but the symptoms are real enough that I feel cruel leaving. Last week, I accepted a job in another city. When I told her, she collapsed in the kitchen. At the hospital, she held my hand and said, “Your career is more important. Go.” Her voice made the sentence sound like abandonment. My brothers say I am the only one who can calm her. My father died when I was twelve, and since then I have been her companion, translator, driver, and proof that she was not left alone. I am thirty-three. I have never lived anywhere she could not call me back from within minutes. I love her. I also feel something close to anger whenever she says she cannot breathe. That anger makes me ashamed enough to stay. The new job begins in three weeks. My suitcase is under the bed. Mother has started sleeping with her bedroom door open so I can hear if she needs me.