My mother can still reduce me to an apologetic version of myself in one call

Dear Delyara, She doesn’t need to be cruel. That’s what makes it hard to explain. One disappointed tone. One comparison. One comment dressed as concern. One little note that implies I am too much, too tired, too emotional, too impractical, too something. And suddenly I can hear my own voice changing. Softer, quicker, more defensive, less certain, already moving toward explanation before I’ve even decided whether I actually agree with what she’s implying. I hate that she can still do that. I hate even more that some part of me still lets her. After those calls, I am not only upset with her. I am angry with myself for becoming smaller that fast. That anger lasts longer than the call.