My mother wants me to forgive the brother who abused me

Dear Delyara, My brother abused me when we were children. He was older, but still young enough that my mother says he “didn’t understand what he was doing.” I understand that children who harm other children may have been harmed themselves. I also understand that I spent decades carrying what happened in my body. My brother has apologized. He attends therapy and says he will respect whatever distance I need. The pressure does not come from him anymore. It comes from our mother. She wants Christmas together. She says she is old, her heart is weak, and she cannot die knowing her children remain divided. Every phone call ends with tears. She asks whether one terrible chapter should destroy a whole family. For her, the family is something to restore. For me, family is where the chapter happened. I love my mother, and I know she is grieving a version of us she believed existed. I cannot give it back. Still, when she says, “Please, before I die,” I feel as though protecting myself is becoming an act performed against a dying woman.