My newborn’s cry takes me back to the hospital room where her brother died

Dear Delyara, Our first baby died shortly after birth. Two years later, our daughter was born healthy. Everyone expected joy to replace fear. Instead, whenever she cries at night, I hear the alarm that sounded beside her brother’s cot. My husband can distinguish hunger from tiredness in her cry. I hear emergency in every sound. I rush into the nursery, switch on all the lights, and check her skin, breathing, and temperature before allowing myself to hold her. She becomes more distressed, and then guilt joins the panic. Last night, she slept for five hours. I woke convinced she was dead and screamed before reaching the cot. My husband found me shaking while our daughter slept peacefully. He said we need more help. I know he is right. What I cannot explain is that loving her has not moved me beyond her brother’s death. It has placed his absence beside every ordinary moment of her life. I want my daughter to cry and be heard as herself, not as an echo from the room where I learned a baby can leave before morning.