My periods stopped before I had decided whether I wanted children

Dear Delyara, I am thirty-six and have been diagnosed with premature ovarian insufficiency. The doctor explained hormones, bone health, fertility options, and statistics. I heard only one sentence: natural pregnancy is now unlikely. I had never decided whether I wanted children. That uncertainty used to feel like freedom. I could choose later. Now everyone asks whether I am grieving motherhood, and I do not know. I am grieving the option. My partner says we can explore donor eggs if we want a family. He is kind and refuses to pressure me. Somehow, that makes it worse because there is no person to blame for the urgency. Yesterday, a friend complained about being pregnant unexpectedly. I listened, supported her, then went home furious at a woman I love for possessing a problem my body no longer knows how to create. I hate that jealousy has entered friendships. I hate that I am expected to make a life decision quickly because biology closed the door before I knew whether I wanted to walk through it.