My real life keeps getting in the way of my actual life

Dear Delyara, The life I maintain — school drop-offs, work, bills, dinners, family logistics, the invisible emotional scaffolding — keeps eating the time and energy I would need to build the life I actually feel called toward. And because the first life is full of legitimate responsibilities, it’s hard to even name the second one without sounding selfish. But it is there. The more creative life. The freer life. The one where I am not mostly functioning as support staff to everyone else’s existence. I want more than maintenance. The fact that wanting more embarrasses me is part of the problem.