My sister’s wedding dress fit me after she died

Dear Delyara, My sister died before her wedding. Car accident, three months before the date. Her dress remained at the bridal shop, fully paid. Mum could not bear collecting it, so I went. The assistant asked whether I wanted it boxed. I said yes. Then, for reasons I still do not understand, I asked if I could try it on. My sister and I were almost the same size. The assistant hesitated, then helped me into it. It fit. I stood in front of the mirror wearing the dress my sister was supposed to wear while everybody looked at her. I expected to feel close to her. Instead, I felt like a thief. Her waist. Her sleeves. Her train behind my body. I took it off immediately and apologized to the assistant as though I had committed something. She told me there was nothing to apologize for. I brought the dress home. Mum still has not opened the box. I have not told her I wore it. Maybe I never will. Some grief is public: funerals, anniversaries, photographs. Some grief is standing half-dressed in a bridal shop, ashamed that your living body fits perfectly into a future designed for someone who no longer has one.