My son asked me why I always cut grapes in half

Dear Delyara, My son is seventeen. This morning, he watched me cut grapes for his little cousin and asked why I still do that when she is old enough to chew them whole. I said choking risk. He rolled his eyes. What I did not tell him is that when he was two, he choked on a grape. I can still see his face turning a colour no child’s face should ever turn. I remember hitting his back, screaming for my husband, the grape finally coming out, my son crying immediately afterward while I sat on the kitchen floor shaking. He remembers none of it. Of course he does not. For him, cut grapes are simply another strange thing his mother does. I have been dividing them in half for fifteen years because one thirty-second moment never really ended inside my hands. Parenting is full of fears children outgrow without realizing their parents remain trapped in the original size of the danger. Tonight, he grabbed grapes from the fridge and ate them whole while standing over the sink. I almost told him to slow down. I did not. He is nearly a man. I stood there pretending to wash a cup and watched him swallow every single one.