My son kept the note I put in his lunch after we had our worst argument

Dear Delyara, When my son was sixteen, we had a terrible argument about school, drinking, friends, everything. He shouted that he hated living with me. I shouted something about not liking who he was becoming. The next morning, neither of us apologized. I packed his lunch anyway because anger apparently does not stop routine. At the last second, I put a note inside: Still angry. Still love you. Eat something. He said nothing about it. That was eight years ago. Today, while helping him move, I found the note folded inside his wallet. The paper is almost transparent from wear. I asked why he kept it. He shrugged and said, “I needed to know both could be true.” I went into the bathroom and cried because I barely remembered writing it. Parents are told our words damage children, and they do. I know some of mine did. I had not realized one clumsy sentence on a lunch napkin also survived. My son is twenty-four now. We still argue. Last month, he told me I can be “deeply annoying.” I told him the feeling is mutual. Still love you. Apparently, that part survived too.