My son’s funeral is still on my credit card

Dear Delyara, My son died three years ago at twenty-six. We had no burial insurance. I paid for the funeral on two credit cards because I could not stand choosing anything that felt cheap while his body was in a room waiting for me to decide. The casket, flowers, service, transport, food afterward—$17,400. I am still paying. Every month, interest appears on a funeral that lasted one afternoon. My daughter tells me I should transfer the balance or enter a debt plan. I know. I also feel sick whenever anyone suggests refinancing because the debt is attached to him in my mind. The statement says “Memorial Services.” It is the only bill that still uses the word memorial every month, as though the bank remembers him on schedule. Last week, I paid $312 and only $127 reduced the balance. I stared at the numbers and thought, I am paying interest on the worst day of my life. I would have chosen differently if I understood what grief was doing to money. At the time, every expensive decision felt like love. Now love arrives as a minimum payment due on the twenty-third.