My son still signs birthday cards from both of us

Dear Delyara, My wife died three years ago. Our son was ten. Since then, whenever he gives me a birthday or Father’s Day card, he signs it “Love, Jamie & Mum.” The first time, I cried and hugged him. Now he is thirteen and still does it. Today was my birthday. Same thing. Love, Jamie & Mum xxx. I asked gently why he keeps signing for her. He became defensive and said, “Because she still loves you.” I said I know. Then he asked, “Do you want me to stop?” His face changed before I answered. I said no. The truth is more complicated. Part of me loves seeing her name. Another part worries my son believes he has been assigned the job of keeping his mother present for me. I want him to be allowed to miss her as a child, not act as secretary for a dead parent. Tonight, the card is beside my bed. His handwriting has changed over three years, but the “Mum” looks almost the same each time because he copies it carefully from one of her old cards. My son is teaching himself his mother’s handwriting so she can continue signing things. I do not know when love becomes too heavy for a child to carry.