My wife reads my messages while I am sleeping

Dear Delyara, My wife checks my phone at night. I know because messages are opened, search histories cleared, and the device sometimes appears on her side of the bed. When I confronted her, she said my defensiveness proved I had something to hide. I do not. That is not the point. She was betrayed in a previous relationship, and I have tried to be patient. I share passwords, explain delays, and send photographs when work runs late. None of it creates safety for her. It creates new standards of proof. Last night, I woke and saw the phone lighting her face. She was reading messages between my sister and me about our mother’s illness. I took it from her. She began crying and said I was abandoning her emotionally. I slept on the sofa. I love her and understand the wound she is carrying. I also feel myself becoming smaller, less private, and increasingly careful inside a marriage where innocence must be demonstrated every morning.