My wife thinks I stopped gambling three years ago

Dear Delyara, I stopped going to betting shops three years ago. That is the truth my wife knows. What she does not know is that I moved online. I gamble from the bathroom, the car, beside her in bed while the phone brightness is turned down. I have separate email accounts and a bank card she thinks was cancelled. Last month, I lost £9,000 in one night. I told her the savings account dropped because an old tax bill had finally been collected. She believed me and apologized for not paying more attention to our finances. I let her apologize. That is the part I cannot get out of my head. She hugged me because she thought I was stressed over a tax problem I had invented to hide the fact that I had gambled away money we saved together. Everyone in my family celebrates my “recovery.” My son once introduced me at school as someone who beat addiction. I smiled. I have become skilled at being an inspiring version of myself in public while the real addiction lives behind a password nobody else knows.