My wife wants to move on from grief faster than I can

Dear Delyara, Our daughter died two years ago. My wife has started changing the house. She repainted our daughter’s room, joined a running group, plans holidays, laughs without apologizing afterward. I know this is healthy. I am angry anyway. Last week, she suggested turning part of our daughter’s old room into a sewing space. I said no so sharply she stopped speaking. Later, she said, “I cannot prove I loved her by staying miserable.” I know. I also hear every change as evidence that our child is being slowly edited out of the house. My wife says grief is becoming the third person in our marriage and that I keep choosing it over her. That accusation hurts because part of me knows she is right. I have begun treating sadness as loyalty. If a day feels normal, I search for a photograph until it hurts again. My wife wants me back. I do not know who “me” means anymore without the father of a living daughter attached to it.