No One Sees It Because I’m Good at Looking Reasonable

Dear Delyara, I think one of the reasons people underestimate my anger is because I rarely let it become visible in socially recognizable ways. I don’t usually shout. I don’t make scenes. I don’t slam things. I become more polite than necessary. More distant. More efficient. Harder to reach. That version of me looks controlled from the outside. What people don’t understand is that control and suppression can look very similar. And I have spent years being praised for one when it was often the other.