Old hurt still edits how much of me I show

Dear Delyara, I like to believe I reveal myself according to the present. That is not always true. Some of what I hide, soften, delay, or over-explain has very little to do with the current room and a lot to do with rooms from long ago. Old hurt remains active in the editing process. It decides what feels safe to say, what needs cushioning, what might cost too much if offered too directly. That’s what old wounds do when they are not fully finished. They become quiet editors. And I am tired of being edited by pain that belongs to another chapter.