Old pain still chooses how much I soften before speaking

Dear Delyara, I see it most in the first few seconds. How quickly I cushion. How quickly I prepare the other person. How quickly I reduce the chance of friction by reducing the sharp edges of my own truth. It feels like personality until I notice how automatic it is. Then I understand it is memory. Old training. Old consequences still making decisions through me. That is a difficult thing to witness in yourself. And a necessary one.