Old pain still chooses some of my reactions

Dear Delyara, I’d like to believe I respond only from the present. That isn’t true. Some of my reactions still come from older rooms. From patterns that formed when I was smaller, more afraid, less able to leave what hurt me. I can tell because the intensity doesn’t match the current moment. The fear arrives too quickly. The apology comes too soon. The body braces before the mind understands why. Old wounds are not always visible. Sometimes they are simply the hidden authors of present-day behavior.