Old wounds still choose how loud the present feels

Dear Delyara, It is not only the present I react to. That is what I am slowly learning to say more honestly. Some of my strongest current feelings are old feelings borrowing today’s clothes. A small delay becomes larger than it should. A moment of uncertainty turns quickly into fear. A tone lands on a bruise that has been there so long I forget it is not part of the new conversation. I understand this intellectually. The body still reacts first. That distance between understanding and regulation is one of the hardest parts of healing for me.