She Asked Me What I Was Thinking and I Lied to Her Face

Dear Delyara, She asked me what I was thinking during dinner this evening, and I lied to her face. We were sitting in the kitchen, and she had spent hours cooking a proper meal for us to share before my shift started. I was staring blankly at the salt cellar, my mind completely paralyzed by a sudden calculation about the rising interest rates on our variable mortgages and how it might eat up our entire Maison SEIFI production budget next month. She reached across the table, touched my wrist, and asked, "Where are you right now?" I looked directly into her eyes, smiled my reassuring professional smile, and said, "Just tired from the traffic, love." It felt like a betrayal. I am keeping her at arm's length because I am terrified that if I admit how close we are to our financial margins, she will look at me and see a failure instead of a provider.