She Let Me Sound Ugly

Dear Delyara, Ugly emotionally, I mean. Tired. Envious. Ashamed. Needy. Not evolved. Not inspiring. Not one bit graceful. I told her the real thoughts, the ones I usually edit out before speaking because I want to sound like the woman I wish I were, not the woman I am when life has been pressing too hard for too long. She didn’t pull away. Didn’t improve me. Didn’t hurry the conversation into brighter territory so the room could feel morally cleaner. She stayed. That kind of friendship is rare. I know it because I felt the shame leave my body a little while I was still talking.